counselling to strengthen you
Mangawhai Heads & Manukau City
I have more than 14 years experience helping people create the changes they are looking for. I am skilled working with a broad range of issues including:
When we enter a close relationship with another person, we do so with many unspoken and unknown expectations.When these expectations are not met, disappointment and resentment may follow. Even a single unresolved issue may be like a cancer, with the potential to spread into other areas of your relationship, eroding the joy, lightness, love, and beauty.
I will provide a safe place to discuss what is happening in your relationship, and act as a guide, an active listener, and a sounding board. I will make sure that you both feel able to speak about your feelings, and expectations for your relationship, and enable you to form a plan of action for moving forward.
Loss & grief
“No-one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times, it feels like being mildly drunk or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in."
You may be grieving the loss of the love of your life, or the loss of a life lived with someone you didn’t love, or the loss of the identity that went with work you no longer have, or the loss of a beloved pet, who has given you devotion and closeness over many years. Whatever you are grieving for, everyone grieves in their own way, and in their own time.
I can assist you to work through the pain of your grief, to adjust to your changed life, to help you let go or maintain a connection as may be necessary or appropriate, whilst moving on with your own life.
Self esteemSelf esteem has a big part to play in how you feel about yourself, and how much you enjoy, or worry, about things in your life. People with low self worth generally don’t think anything they do will be good enough, they can find themselves worrying about nearly everything, often out of proportion to its importance, they usually don’t feel very comfortable with other people, can feel alone and on the outside of groups.
I can assist you to learn techniques to improve your self esteem. I will help you to look at situations differently, support you to challenge the beliefs you have about yourself, explore ways to see all parts of yourself, and develop strategies to change the negative self talk that is undermining your life. As you develop new skills you will find yourself feeling happier, more able to approach other people, deal with criticism, and try new ways of being in the world.
Depression & anxiety
People who have experienced depression or anxiety for long periods of time often feel quite desperate and have no hope things can change.Sometimes people are so low in their mood they just want to stay home and hide all the time, so it is a big thing to come and see me for counselling. The good news is there are ways of changing depression and anxiety, and you can enjoy your life again!
Often people suffering with depression and anxiety find themselves caught in a cycle of negative thinking which keeps them quite stuck. The most powerful way to overcome depression and anxiety is to identify your negative thoughts as they occur, and to challenge them. I can help you learn how to do this, so that with practice, you will be able to think in ways that are more useful to you.
Aging & physical ill healthAging is a natural process of life, and yet when it comes, those who need to be taken care of for the first time, can have a hard time accepting, that they need help. Confronting this reality is the beginning of a healthy relationship to life, aging, and death.
I have the knowledge and the experience, to help you on your journey. Honest, empathic listening, is one of the best medicines to support people struggling with physical deterioration, and with my nursing background there may be other suggestions I can make, to make your journey easier.
Recovering from crime & accidentsWhenever someone experiences a crisis, their body responds physically, and emotionally. These responses happen automatically, in order to enable you to cope with the trauma. However, they may feel out of your control, which can be scary, if you don’t know that this is normal.
I am confident in working with the victims of crime, accidents and emergencies. I am trained to lift the coping skills of a person/family in crisis, so that they may become empowered to make informed decisions about moving into survival mode. I have had Specialist Training at the Police College in Wellington “Working with the families/friends of Serious Crimes and Homicides. I work within clear ethical boundaries.
Affected by someone else's drug or alcohol addiction
People with family members who have drug or alcohol problems often feel angry, hurt, and frightened.
The future for both you and your loved one can seem very bleak. Your life can feel so awful, while everyone else seems to have such perfect families. During these times it is very useful to talk to somebody who is outside your friendship circle, to have somewhere to just let it all out.
How things are going at work has a major impact on our lives.Problems may include bullying, stress, feeling isolated, being unassertive, or feeling unable to negotiate changes in our work situation. Younger people especially may not know how to deal with workplace difficulties, particularly if their culture has not given them the skills to deal with it.
I am able to assist you with problems you are having at work, and also help you develop strategies to reduce the effect of them overflowing into your home life. Some clients will be eligible for counselling through a workplace EAP Scheme.
“Cilla gave me a chance to speak honestly, and clear the clatter in my mind.”